DEAR SEAN:
My 21-year-old daughter just married her 22-year-old sweetheart. What advice would you give them being so young and getting married? The naysayers claim they are too young for marriage.
Thanks,
INSTANT-MOTHER-IN-LAW
DEAR INSTANT MIL:
I turned 21 on my honeymoon. At the time, we were in Charleston, South Carolina. There are many taverns in Charleston.
On the evening of my birthday, my newlywed wife left me to my own devices so she could go birthday shopping. So there I was, age 21. Street legal. Wandering the streets of the Holy City alone. Looking for houses of worship.
I walked into a small joint downtown to buy my first legal glass of Ovaltine and pay my respects to federal law.
The saloon was sort of empty. Dim lights. Lots of sinners. The smell of antiques and tobacco. There was an old fashioned jukebox playing. It was perfect.
There was a man at the bar. He was old and bent. Heavy equipment logo on his hat. He was leaning over a longneck.
I told him I was 21 tonight.
His eyes became bright. He told the bartender to bring me a tall glass of something cold—on him. The bartender, a gal comfortably in her 60s, checked my ID with a careful eye.
“What’s your address, sweetheart?” she asked, staring at my license.
“Sesame Street,” I said.
She smiled.
She put the glass before me. The old guy and I toasted to the American Minimum Legal Drinking Age. I told my new friends I had just gotten married.
I got about five or six handshakes and shoulder slaps. I went on to tell how everyone in my life said I was making a mistake. About how the preacher refused to marry us.
About the big stink my wedding created. About how people—even strangers at the tux-rental shop—tried to talk me out of it. Some of my own family even boycotted my wedding. They said I was too young.
The old man just chuckled. “My mom got married when she was fourteen. How’s that for too young? I was seventeen when I got married, and we’re still going strong.”
The bartender joined the conversation. She said, “I was eighteen when I married Husband Number One. It was also the first year I ever voted.”
“Who’d you vote for?” the man asked.
“Adlai Stevenson.”
“Who?” I said.
She tapped her cigarette ash. “He looked like a vacuum salesman.”
There was another guy at the bar, about the same age as my new friends. “I got married when I was nineteen,” he said. “I learned that marriage is a walk in the park.”
“Yeah,” said another. “Jurassic Park.”
Another old guy said, “Hey, I got married young. During the war. We all got married young back then. Know what I learned? I learned that the secret to marriage is still a secret.”
“Didn’t anyone say you were too young?” I asked.
“Too young?” The group of old sponges just laughed.
“Sweetie,” the bartender said, “We WERE too young. And so are you. Twenty is WAY too young to get married. But you know what? So is thirty, forty, fifty, and sixty.”
One guy said, “You don’t get married, because it’s the smart thing. You get married because a man is incomplete until he’s married.”
“That’s right,” another said. “After that, he’s finished.”
Merry Christmas and New Year blessings to Sean, Jamie and all the followers. On todays topic. I was married at 18, hubby 24. We left Zambia immediately as he had a new position to start in South Africa. Within a year we had our first child. There have been ups and downs, but in the whole God and life has been good to us. Coming up 60 years next March. Four great children, seven lovely grandchildren and all doing well. Alzheimer’s arrived four or five years ago, but I still sit with him every day, if he’s alert that’s great, today he’s very sleepy. All is well, God is good and we are blessed and thankful.
I was trying to figure out the reason for the madness of me waking up today at 1:15am after having closed my sleepy eyes at around 10:30pm last night.
I now now Sean Dietrich’s daily dose of wit & wisdom was my reason. I am assuming I needed to start my day off with a little humor & lots of very wise words from one of my favorite inspirational people.
I know Sean’s words today were about young “kids” marrying at such a tender age and yes , I married at age 20 but hey- I was in love & had found the right person. As the words of a great song say “all you need is love”.
Now as to this story’s meaning to me... the important lessons I was reminded of center around dedication, commitment, love, & loyalty being the essential fundamentals of a healthy relationship whether it be with a spouse, a child, or even a friend. We as “grownup” adults have hopefully learned these important lessons. We must dedicate ourselves to the success of any relationships we have. We must commit ourselves to growing our relationships on a daily basis. We must love each other without harsh judgement. We also need to know that our loyalty will be tested on occasions but we must stand steadfast.
Thanks Sean for these all important reminders today.