My husband and I went through the Catholic version of this called "PreCana" classes in 1976. After the end of eight weeks, we pledged our promise to get married and received a certificate too. We did get married on May 1, 1976 , and have been married since. I had breast cancer, he had a heart attack, and quadruple by-pass surgery. We have both lost our parents, several siblings, and some friends along the way. I don't know if that class helped, but I do know God being with us everyday has made our marriage a happy one!
I’m old enough to be your mother maybe even your grandmother. I look for your emails everyday. This one was super. My husband and I were married 47 years when he died. Worst day of my life. I spent the first 3 months after his death thanking him and God for all the ways he loved me. I cried a lot for several years but I was so grateful for having a man love me the way he did that all I could say over and over for months on end was, “Thank you, Jimmy, and thank you God for giving me such a good husband.”
We didn't have a class...but definitely had the pre-marriage counseling! 45 years later...still going strong (including a similar story regarding the dreaded lump in her breast...ours needed to be dealt with...but it's all good now) On a different spin...the class required the engaged couples to actually do something...to commit to something...other than saying "we're in love" and want to get married. I don't know if it would make a difference in today's world...but since commitment (ANY kind of commitment) seems to be in short supply in many areas of todays society...maybe a pause to see if you really want to say "'til death do us part" is not too bad of an idea. Keep up the great writing...I share these regularly with friends and family.
I had to laugh as I read this article. I do that almost every day when you article comes to me. My wife and I met at 16 and for me it was love at first site. I told my mother that evening that I planned to marry this girl. That was 56 years ago and we have been married for 54 years. There have been many things but no marriage class that I recall. For better or worse, yeah we have had both. All in all, we have been extremely blessed but not without challenges. Financial, infertility, losing it all at times. We have had our own balancing act but we do plan on spending the next 20+ years on our quest to do all we can, while we can, all often as we can, to paraphrase John Wesley.
Glad y'all passed. That was a rigorous test. After dating the last two years of high school and all of college, our big day was looming. Our minister, who had known us all this time said, "I'm supposed to counsel you two, but, ah, phooey, consider yourselves counseled and get on with it." That was 54 years ago. His "counseling" must have worked, like your training class.
Your column made me laugh this morning. I always enjoy, even when it brings tears, but this brought back memories of our marriage class in 1972…not as much fun as yours! Hope we get to see you in person some day.
I recall those classes. My first wife (may she RIP), had to take them at the Baptist Church that we were wed.
We were schooled on many things that a couple go through. But what I always got a laugh out of was when the Preacher went one on one with us. He told me if she cut her finger cooking, I should put a bandaid on it. He told her that if I wanted sex, she should give in to my needs.
So glad I read this before I even journaled. I'm widowed twice, so no current relevance, but yesterday and today have thrown a few hits at me and you always help.
Our pre-marital counseling was done privately just us and the Pastor. There weren't any games involved. We both took personality tests and when the results came back the Pastor told us we were so much alike it was scary. He'd never had a couple that answered the same for everything. My biggest memory though was him telling us that sometimes your spouse doesn't smell so good. Boy was he right about that one.
Well Pone, when we took out marriage class it wasn't as funny as yours. I was giving directions for Savannah Tiffany to go left to miss the danged chair, but she ain't too good with directions "don't say go west!" Next thing you know, she's laying on the floor with a broke ankle! Old Pubert ain't heard the end of that one! I see you ain't learned yore lesson about messing with them Baptists! It's OK if you pick on us Episcopals for a while. We like jokes... at least I do!
My Guy and I went to a Baptist class like yours and your wife's. We got bored and left early. We are no longer Baptists, but we're still married. May you and Jamie pass many more real-life classes of married life!! (I just passed my technology remedial class: I successfully posted on Substack -- I hope!)
Woulda been bad to get a divorce before we got married 37 years ago- she still ain't too good at following my direction...you think that was bad, you shoulda seen old Pubert at the Birthing Class!
My husband and I went through the Catholic version of this called "PreCana" classes in 1976. After the end of eight weeks, we pledged our promise to get married and received a certificate too. We did get married on May 1, 1976 , and have been married since. I had breast cancer, he had a heart attack, and quadruple by-pass surgery. We have both lost our parents, several siblings, and some friends along the way. I don't know if that class helped, but I do know God being with us everyday has made our marriage a happy one!
I love you.
I’m old enough to be your mother maybe even your grandmother. I look for your emails everyday. This one was super. My husband and I were married 47 years when he died. Worst day of my life. I spent the first 3 months after his death thanking him and God for all the ways he loved me. I cried a lot for several years but I was so grateful for having a man love me the way he did that all I could say over and over for months on end was, “Thank you, Jimmy, and thank you God for giving me such a good husband.”
Great post Joanne! You are a luckie woman with your head screwed on straight! Good for you!
Pubert
We didn't have a class...but definitely had the pre-marriage counseling! 45 years later...still going strong (including a similar story regarding the dreaded lump in her breast...ours needed to be dealt with...but it's all good now) On a different spin...the class required the engaged couples to actually do something...to commit to something...other than saying "we're in love" and want to get married. I don't know if it would make a difference in today's world...but since commitment (ANY kind of commitment) seems to be in short supply in many areas of todays society...maybe a pause to see if you really want to say "'til death do us part" is not too bad of an idea. Keep up the great writing...I share these regularly with friends and family.
I had to laugh as I read this article. I do that almost every day when you article comes to me. My wife and I met at 16 and for me it was love at first site. I told my mother that evening that I planned to marry this girl. That was 56 years ago and we have been married for 54 years. There have been many things but no marriage class that I recall. For better or worse, yeah we have had both. All in all, we have been extremely blessed but not without challenges. Financial, infertility, losing it all at times. We have had our own balancing act but we do plan on spending the next 20+ years on our quest to do all we can, while we can, all often as we can, to paraphrase John Wesley.
Glad y'all passed. That was a rigorous test. After dating the last two years of high school and all of college, our big day was looming. Our minister, who had known us all this time said, "I'm supposed to counsel you two, but, ah, phooey, consider yourselves counseled and get on with it." That was 54 years ago. His "counseling" must have worked, like your training class.
Your column made me laugh this morning. I always enjoy, even when it brings tears, but this brought back memories of our marriage class in 1972…not as much fun as yours! Hope we get to see you in person some day.
I recall those classes. My first wife (may she RIP), had to take them at the Baptist Church that we were wed.
We were schooled on many things that a couple go through. But what I always got a laugh out of was when the Preacher went one on one with us. He told me if she cut her finger cooking, I should put a bandaid on it. He told her that if I wanted sex, she should give in to my needs.
We laughed about that till she left this world.
So glad I read this before I even journaled. I'm widowed twice, so no current relevance, but yesterday and today have thrown a few hits at me and you always help.
Our pre-marital counseling was done privately just us and the Pastor. There weren't any games involved. We both took personality tests and when the results came back the Pastor told us we were so much alike it was scary. He'd never had a couple that answered the same for everything. My biggest memory though was him telling us that sometimes your spouse doesn't smell so good. Boy was he right about that one.
I always knew you were genuine and “certified!”
Well Pone, when we took out marriage class it wasn't as funny as yours. I was giving directions for Savannah Tiffany to go left to miss the danged chair, but she ain't too good with directions "don't say go west!" Next thing you know, she's laying on the floor with a broke ankle! Old Pubert ain't heard the end of that one! I see you ain't learned yore lesson about messing with them Baptists! It's OK if you pick on us Episcopals for a while. We like jokes... at least I do!
Your friend,
Pubert
😄 common threat of folding chairs
I am no longer getting your daily report via email. I like to read it must every day.
My Guy and I went to a Baptist class like yours and your wife's. We got bored and left early. We are no longer Baptists, but we're still married. May you and Jamie pass many more real-life classes of married life!! (I just passed my technology remedial class: I successfully posted on Substack -- I hope!)
No such class for us 48years ago.
Guess they just assumed we knew what we were doing!
Woulda been bad to get a divorce before we got married 37 years ago- she still ain't too good at following my direction...you think that was bad, you shoulda seen old Pubert at the Birthing Class!
Pubert