Dear Loved One

This is weird. I realize this. But I wanted to write to you, dear loved one. Namely, because I’ve been dead for some time now. And the way I left this world happened so fast. So unexpected.

I wasn’t expecting it to end like this. None of us got any closure. Especially not you.

The pain you went through after my death was much worse than the pain I went through by actually dying.

Dying, it turns out, wasn’t all that bad. In fact, I wish someone would have told me how beautiful the transition is. I would’ve never been so afraid of death if I’d known.

When I was alive, I was horrified of death. This unspoken fear hovers beneath human consciousness, motivating all decisions. Fueling everything from obsessively healthy eating, to elderly men buying Corvettes.

But it’s death they’re really afraid of. The fear permeates a human’s psyche, and makes us small. Paralyzes us. Other creatures do not fear death this way. Dogs do not wake up and say to themselves, “Gee, I wish I had adequate life insurance.”

But we do. I think this fear has something to do with our logical brains. That human logic we use to problem solve; that same logic can also be our enemy.

Because this very intelligence makes us doubt what our heart is always saying. And what our heart is saying is: “This is not all there is.”

I know that now, dear loved one. When you pass, it’s like not like dying at all. It’s like waking up from a dream. There will be relatives you have never met, waiting for you. A massive cloud of witnesses, a stadium of souls who are all waiting to embrace you.

I will be at the front of this crowd. And when we finally see each other, we shall weep supernatural tears of joy. Because this will be the moment in space-time when it will all finally hit you, just like it hit me.

You’re not alone. You were NEVER alone. You were always looked after. You were always loved. You will always BE loved. Once you feel this, you will never un-feel it.

Oh, I wish you could’ve seen my arrival. Imagine the biggest surprise party you can think of. Then triple it times a few bazillion.

As a huge family of souls was engulfing me with hugs and affection, the crowd parted. I felt something making its way toward me. I could not see what was approaching, but I could sense it coming. It was a familiar feeling.

I knew this presence. I knew it more intimately than I realized. This presence has always been with me. This presence knew me before I was in the womb.

This presence was the origin of love. The source of everything. This was the God that everyone on earth talks about but nobody seems to understand. A love so rich and pure that it blinded everyone. People sort of fell to their knees to keep from being washed away in the hurricane of love.

When this pure love embraced me, I was swallowed entirely. But do you know what I was thinking about in that moment? I was thinking of you.

When God and I released, I asked, with tears in my eyes, whether He might travel to earth, personally, and give this same incredible love to you.

He just smiled and said, “I’m way ahead of you, kiddo.”