I have here a letter from 19-year-old Erin, who lives in Bristol, Virginia. “Dear Sean,” she begins, “I want to be happy, but I’m not… “My family is stressing me out, big-time. Especially my mom. My therapist actually recommended that I write to you, seeing if you have any insightful thoughts about happiness.”
Seeing pure happiness is a baby who looks up at you and smiles so sweetly as you try to communicate with him …..if you’re really lucky, you may hear a giggle! This afternoon, a glowing Florida sunset was a sight to behold which brought much happiness to my soul…..yesterday, a friend I haven’t seen in years, embraced me with a hug that would have registered a 10 on the hug-a-meter……a happy moment! And sometimes WE are the one to bring happiness to our world! We should be cautious and not dwell on what is not….through a faith walk, prayer and involvement with positive people, I believe, happiness abounds……
I’m a retiree working part time in a clinical setting. That therapist must read your stuff. You have a pretty good grasp of happiness: Write what you believe. Sing when you can. Laugh when you shouldn’t. Hug everyone.
I grew up in a small family with older parents. All four grandparents died before I was born. Although my parents and two brothers were all pretty happy most of the time, I felt the need for more. So I set out to make friends, by spreading lots of cheerfulness, thoughtfulness, sweetness, and playfulness…all in the spirit of happiness. I gave joy, and before long I was receiving joy in return. I think true happiness begins with a loving and generous heart, along with a positive mindset.
You do spread happiness and positivity. I enjoy your comments - life is so much richer with a cup that's at least half full. When I think about it, mine often "runneth over"!
Right back atcha’, Linda! I enjoy your comments as well, along with those of some other regular readers. Reading them is as much fun as reading what we’re commenting about❣️
I'm the oldest teenager any of my friends know. Two months ago tomorrow I turned 77. Years.
My wife and I got remarried. She lives in Pittsburgh. I live in Birmingham. We keep American Airlines in business. It's working very well this time around. And has been for several years now.
I've found that happiness is usually--not always, but usually--a matter of choice. You can dwell on things that make you unhappy or you can dwell on things that make you happy. I came to that realization about 35 years ago when I was talking with an old friend. She always told me about everything that made her unhappy. I realized that I also did that, and that it probably reinforced ~my~ being unhappy. So I decided there and then that whenever anyone asked me how I was doing, the answer was always going to be positive. No matter what. Know what? I started to feel happier immediately. Who'd'a thunk it?
I'm not saying that a lot of youthful testosterone doesn't make you happy. It sure worked for me. But even when that stage starts to go away, making a conscious choice to see the sunny side makes a measurable difference in outlook.
In years of practicing surgery, I realized that things can always be worse. And there's generally way out of most problems. At least for a while. So I do that. Anyone can. They just have to choose to do it. And if you want guidelines, read Eric Berne's famous book, Games People Play. It's an oldie, but a very goodie. Human nature doesn't change. This book is about human nature.
I laughed at the old editor's definition of happiness. Our family is scatted from Fort Worth to Seattle, and we don't live anywhere near either of them. When we talk on the phone, we're mostly happy. When we visit or they visit, we're mostly (but not always) happy. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. :-)
Sometimes you have to have the right amount of distance from the folks who keep wanting you to grow up. If distance doesn't do it, maybe re-establishing recess would help.
Happiness is fleeting and is a choice. Joy is eternal and comes from being loved by God and knowing His Peace. Count your blessings - seriously name them off. Take a deep breath. Smile!
My family is also "scattered to the four winds". Teenagers always have problems. They have to grow up but most of the time they don't want to. They don't admit it, but they see what adulthood has in store for them and they don't like what they see but they can't stop it. Such is life.
Very insightful, Paul. I hadn’t thought of it that way. No wonder teenagers are reluctant to grow up! Who can blame them? They’re frozen in fear!! God (please) love them🙏
Comparison is the thief of joy they say. I believe this to be true. Self awareness on the things that don’t matter plague our young people. Particularly through social media. My first thought is unplug and discover real living. Nineteen should be an age of discovery, finding passions. A worthwhile friend is invaluable.
Accept the hand you are dealt, have faith there’s purpose in it. Know there’s a purpose for your life beyond the aesthetics. Pray for revelation. Joy is found in the giving, the receiving is taken care of by Someone higher.
There is a song with these lyrics. “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, down in my heart to stay.” We used to sing it in the little church I grew up in. Over and over, gustily. As I recall, one of the lyrics was, “ I’ve got the peace that passeth understanding, down in my heart, down in my heart to stay.” Happiness is mostly circumstantial. I believe true joy comes from having a sense of eternal peace that only comes when we have a personal relationship with our heavenly Father. My experience suggests that the “happiest” time in most guy’s lives, cant speak for girls, is during his high school years. After that, for most, real life sets in along with maturity and the adult problems that come with it. Staying young at heart is an “art form.” It’s a conscious decision we can make that accompanies not taking ourselves so seriously.
Oh, Sean……I agree with the wise therapist! You teach us to look at the world around us and find joy, humor, meaning, or purpose for our own lives. There are lessons to be learned from each one of your delightful experiences you so graciously share. I want to see the world through your eyes and experience all the colors of the emotions you see in everything and everyone. It’s better than Prozac!
Seeing pure happiness is a baby who looks up at you and smiles so sweetly as you try to communicate with him …..if you’re really lucky, you may hear a giggle! This afternoon, a glowing Florida sunset was a sight to behold which brought much happiness to my soul…..yesterday, a friend I haven’t seen in years, embraced me with a hug that would have registered a 10 on the hug-a-meter……a happy moment! And sometimes WE are the one to bring happiness to our world! We should be cautious and not dwell on what is not….through a faith walk, prayer and involvement with positive people, I believe, happiness abounds……
I’m a retiree working part time in a clinical setting. That therapist must read your stuff. You have a pretty good grasp of happiness: Write what you believe. Sing when you can. Laugh when you shouldn’t. Hug everyone.
I grew up in a small family with older parents. All four grandparents died before I was born. Although my parents and two brothers were all pretty happy most of the time, I felt the need for more. So I set out to make friends, by spreading lots of cheerfulness, thoughtfulness, sweetness, and playfulness…all in the spirit of happiness. I gave joy, and before long I was receiving joy in return. I think true happiness begins with a loving and generous heart, along with a positive mindset.
Wonderful read today, Send❣️
You do spread happiness and positivity. I enjoy your comments - life is so much richer with a cup that's at least half full. When I think about it, mine often "runneth over"!
Right back atcha’, Linda! I enjoy your comments as well, along with those of some other regular readers. Reading them is as much fun as reading what we’re commenting about❣️
A few observations:
I'm the oldest teenager any of my friends know. Two months ago tomorrow I turned 77. Years.
My wife and I got remarried. She lives in Pittsburgh. I live in Birmingham. We keep American Airlines in business. It's working very well this time around. And has been for several years now.
I've found that happiness is usually--not always, but usually--a matter of choice. You can dwell on things that make you unhappy or you can dwell on things that make you happy. I came to that realization about 35 years ago when I was talking with an old friend. She always told me about everything that made her unhappy. I realized that I also did that, and that it probably reinforced ~my~ being unhappy. So I decided there and then that whenever anyone asked me how I was doing, the answer was always going to be positive. No matter what. Know what? I started to feel happier immediately. Who'd'a thunk it?
I'm not saying that a lot of youthful testosterone doesn't make you happy. It sure worked for me. But even when that stage starts to go away, making a conscious choice to see the sunny side makes a measurable difference in outlook.
In years of practicing surgery, I realized that things can always be worse. And there's generally way out of most problems. At least for a while. So I do that. Anyone can. They just have to choose to do it. And if you want guidelines, read Eric Berne's famous book, Games People Play. It's an oldie, but a very goodie. Human nature doesn't change. This book is about human nature.
I laughed at the old editor's definition of happiness. Our family is scatted from Fort Worth to Seattle, and we don't live anywhere near either of them. When we talk on the phone, we're mostly happy. When we visit or they visit, we're mostly (but not always) happy. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. :-)
Sometimes you have to have the right amount of distance from the folks who keep wanting you to grow up. If distance doesn't do it, maybe re-establishing recess would help.
Happiness is fleeting and is a choice. Joy is eternal and comes from being loved by God and knowing His Peace. Count your blessings - seriously name them off. Take a deep breath. Smile!
Amen! I was waiting for someone to mention the Joy of the Lord. Sharing His love with others is a blessing.
My family is also "scattered to the four winds". Teenagers always have problems. They have to grow up but most of the time they don't want to. They don't admit it, but they see what adulthood has in store for them and they don't like what they see but they can't stop it. Such is life.
Very insightful, Paul. I hadn’t thought of it that way. No wonder teenagers are reluctant to grow up! Who can blame them? They’re frozen in fear!! God (please) love them🙏
Comparison is the thief of joy they say. I believe this to be true. Self awareness on the things that don’t matter plague our young people. Particularly through social media. My first thought is unplug and discover real living. Nineteen should be an age of discovery, finding passions. A worthwhile friend is invaluable.
Accept the hand you are dealt, have faith there’s purpose in it. Know there’s a purpose for your life beyond the aesthetics. Pray for revelation. Joy is found in the giving, the receiving is taken care of by Someone higher.
Print this out and hang it on your wall. Right on!
........in another city is right! 👍
Thanks Sean...almost as good as an hour's worth of therapy...and cheaper
As the French say, “La sagesse.” Wisdom!
There is a song with these lyrics. “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, down in my heart to stay.” We used to sing it in the little church I grew up in. Over and over, gustily. As I recall, one of the lyrics was, “ I’ve got the peace that passeth understanding, down in my heart, down in my heart to stay.” Happiness is mostly circumstantial. I believe true joy comes from having a sense of eternal peace that only comes when we have a personal relationship with our heavenly Father. My experience suggests that the “happiest” time in most guy’s lives, cant speak for girls, is during his high school years. After that, for most, real life sets in along with maturity and the adult problems that come with it. Staying young at heart is an “art form.” It’s a conscious decision we can make that accompanies not taking ourselves so seriously.
Oh, Sean……I agree with the wise therapist! You teach us to look at the world around us and find joy, humor, meaning, or purpose for our own lives. There are lessons to be learned from each one of your delightful experiences you so graciously share. I want to see the world through your eyes and experience all the colors of the emotions you see in everything and everyone. It’s better than Prozac!
❤️💕 Agree!
Happiness is a choice! That's why I choose to read your columns! 😊♥️