I found a brown paper bag full of tomatoes on my doorstep, along with homemade tomato chutney. I don’t know where the stuff came from, but the tomatoes were homegrown. If there is a pleasure more marvelous than homegrown tomatoes, it’s probably illegal. And I don’t want to know about it since I come from Baptists who don’t do illegal things because it could lead to a life of secular music.
At almost 87, my mom still grows tomatoes, more than any of us can eat or she could possibly send home with us. She also started making tomato jam. Turns out it's darn good stuff. Something about a garden and fresh tomatoes says love.
You aren't kidding about tomatoes and tomatoe sandwiches!
Two slices of soft Sunbeam bread, slather enough mayo (I love Hellmann's, sorry Sean) on both pieces of bread till it dripping off. Cut your tomatoe slice as thick as a Reader's Digest book (or a National Geographic if you dont have Reader's Digest) then sprinkle copious amounts of salt and pepper to taste. If you haven't used a whole roll of paper towels after eating your tomatoe sandwich you have done something wrong.
You could add bacon, because you can add bacon to almost anything and increase the favorabilty by 10 fold. But us tomatoe sandwich purist would say your on the verge of making a BLT.
Haha…because of Sean constantly touting Dukes, I decided I should try it. Thinking it was a thing of the south, I went on Amazon and ordered 2 small jars and payed a pretty penny. A week later, I was walking down the condiment aisle at Walmart up here in Pittsburgh and there it was for almost half the price! I actually like it…definitely a more vinegary taste than other mayos.
I laughed all the way through this!! So perfect! My husband loved Tomato sandwiches: white bread, Dukes mayonnaise… heaven will serve it! God bless your sense of humor!
Attended your show in Charleston last night with my wife and my best friend and his wife. We all thoroughly enjoyed every minute! You are one talented Sonofagun! It was a real pleasure to meet your lovely wife too. I highly recommend everyone who follows your column to see you the next time you are appearing near you. God bless the South and especially Sean, Jamie, Becca and Marigold!!
I remember my dear Dad, breaking ground with a pitch fork, for a garden of legendary “Burpee Big Boys” (hybrid circa 1929). That was every summer of the ‘50’s, and it forever spoiled me for any other home grown or store bought variety..
I don’t think I ever let my Dad know how appreciative I was for the fruits of his labor…those sweet tomatoes…thanks Dad🍅😇🍅
No, I’m more of a flowers-in-pots kind of girl, instead of an actual gardener. But I’m beginning to think why not grow some Big Boys in pots, too? You have prompted me to check online, and BINGO! Up pops “12 Easy Tips for Growing Tomato Plants in 5 or 10 Gallon Pots…stay tuned, Cindy…there’s always next Spring🍅💚🍅
Summer is officially here and so is tomato season! The real taste of summer is two slices of white bread, Dukes mayonnaise, and a giant slice of ripe tomato. You’ll know it’s just right when you have to eat it over the sink!
My best friend of almost forty years and I had dinner tonight after church. When I dropped her off, she ran in the house and came back bearing two perfect homegrown tomatoes for me. Thank you for reminding me how good they are in a sandwich. I'll be in the kitchen if y'all need me...
As a kid I did not like tomatoes at all. It just shows how one's tastes change as one ages. Tomatoes are not my favorite food, but they do belong in salads. And always homegrown ones are the best. Last year, I was determined to grow some dwarf tomatoes in pots. I planted two. One plant got really beat up in a hail storm, and ended up bearing one tomato. The second plant produced at one point, seven tomatoes, so we had great hope for a crop. One morning, not a single green tomato remained. We suspect a squirrel got them, because they were inside a tomato cage and a deer could not have gotten into it. One more tomato did grow later, so we ended up with two plants and two tomatoes. I didn't even try this year. And Sean, I agree on aspic, which is a terrible invention by someone unknown. Thank goodness, the recipe seems to have gone out of style. I haven't seen it on a potluck table since I was a kid, double thank goodness.
ours were still small and green. I'm not a fan of squirrels, any more than I like other rodents, like rats and mice. ugh to all. I know they are creatures, but they, in my opinion, have no redeeming values. Maybe they're food for coyotes. If so, maybe I need a pet coyote.
We just had to replace our side porch because a squirrel was eating the wood! ( I have video footage of him gnawing on it) We ended up putting a composite wood on it in the hopes that he wouldn’t like the flavor.
It won’t stop a squirrel. I have a crazy squirrel who ate the arms off my expensive designer faux wicker lounge chairs on the patio. She then proceeded to eat the arms of 3 cheap plastic Lowe’s Adirondack chairs. Just because she was mad that we sealed up the hole she chewed in our roof that led to the nest she made over our back porch. Evidently there were babies left inside. We have been rehoming squirrels far out in the country. About to take #9 for a ride.
I didn’t like them as a child either. Ketchup and spaghetti sauce, great. Tomatoes, not. It was that gelatinous stuff the seeds are caught up in. To this day, I scrape that stuff out before adding tomatoes to my salad
This was lovely. I'm glad you don't know where this friend of mine lives: she grows some old Poitevin variety where each tomato is the size of a medium pumpkin, with these ribs and ridges and swirls, and once you cut it open it smells like breakfast in Eden.
You better believe it! But wild horses wouldn’t drag her address out of me, after Sean’s charming confession of his being an inveterate unapologetic Tomato Thief :)
“ And I don’t want to know about it since I come from Baptists who don’t do illegal things because it could lead to a life of secular music.”
Or worse—dancing!
***********************
On the advice of my wife’s cousin, I got some seeds for Spoon Tomatoes. Tiny little things that grow in great abundance. But they pack a bunch of flavor.
And on my own, I tried growing Lettuce Leaf Basil. Exactly the opposite of the minuscule tomatoes, these basil leaves easily reach 6-8” long and 4-6” wide. You can eat them as roughage, and I have. At first I was worried that the enormous leaves would only have the flavor of a small regular globe basil leaf, and so be diluted. Could not hqve been more wrong. Flavor galore. One leaf is more than enough to make a Caprese salad. Use 2 if you’re a flavor hog like I am.
Seeds come from rareseeds.com and are a princely $3/packet. Great, easy to read, fun book is Ten Tomatoes That Changed The World: A History, by William Alexander.
At almost 87, my mom still grows tomatoes, more than any of us can eat or she could possibly send home with us. She also started making tomato jam. Turns out it's darn good stuff. Something about a garden and fresh tomatoes says love.
Would like to know about that tomato jam….
She says pick up a box of Sure-Gell and follow the directions for any fruit.
👍🏻
You aren't kidding about tomatoes and tomatoe sandwiches!
Two slices of soft Sunbeam bread, slather enough mayo (I love Hellmann's, sorry Sean) on both pieces of bread till it dripping off. Cut your tomatoe slice as thick as a Reader's Digest book (or a National Geographic if you dont have Reader's Digest) then sprinkle copious amounts of salt and pepper to taste. If you haven't used a whole roll of paper towels after eating your tomatoe sandwich you have done something wrong.
And add bacon!!
You could add bacon, because you can add bacon to almost anything and increase the favorabilty by 10 fold. But us tomatoe sandwich purist would say your on the verge of making a BLT.
Here we go again….but I’m a Hellmann’s fan too!
Haha…because of Sean constantly touting Dukes, I decided I should try it. Thinking it was a thing of the south, I went on Amazon and ordered 2 small jars and payed a pretty penny. A week later, I was walking down the condiment aisle at Walmart up here in Pittsburgh and there it was for almost half the price! I actually like it…definitely a more vinegary taste than other mayos.
Dukes does hold first place on MANY taste testers’ lists!
I laughed all the way through this!! So perfect! My husband loved Tomato sandwiches: white bread, Dukes mayonnaise… heaven will serve it! God bless your sense of humor!
Attended your show in Charleston last night with my wife and my best friend and his wife. We all thoroughly enjoyed every minute! You are one talented Sonofagun! It was a real pleasure to meet your lovely wife too. I highly recommend everyone who follows your column to see you the next time you are appearing near you. God bless the South and especially Sean, Jamie, Becca and Marigold!!
I remember my dear Dad, breaking ground with a pitch fork, for a garden of legendary “Burpee Big Boys” (hybrid circa 1929). That was every summer of the ‘50’s, and it forever spoiled me for any other home grown or store bought variety..
I don’t think I ever let my Dad know how appreciative I was for the fruits of his labor…those sweet tomatoes…thanks Dad🍅😇🍅
Like this story of dad and his tomato garden…..do you grow them?
No, I’m more of a flowers-in-pots kind of girl, instead of an actual gardener. But I’m beginning to think why not grow some Big Boys in pots, too? You have prompted me to check online, and BINGO! Up pops “12 Easy Tips for Growing Tomato Plants in 5 or 10 Gallon Pots…stay tuned, Cindy…there’s always next Spring🍅💚🍅
I just might join in too…..
And don’t forget the cages!!
👍🏻
Homegrown tomatoes are one of God’s greatest gifts!
Yepper!
Summer is officially here and so is tomato season! The real taste of summer is two slices of white bread, Dukes mayonnaise, and a giant slice of ripe tomato. You’ll know it’s just right when you have to eat it over the sink!
Amen!
We grew up in the country and used to eat tomatoes like apples. Even better if you have a salt shaker handy.
Love your way with words, Sean. “The stuff was so bad that all the flies pitched in to get the screen door fixed.” Classic!
Today was full of great lines and laughs!!!
😂
My best friend of almost forty years and I had dinner tonight after church. When I dropped her off, she ran in the house and came back bearing two perfect homegrown tomatoes for me. Thank you for reminding me how good they are in a sandwich. I'll be in the kitchen if y'all need me...
What a nice neighbor you have, Sean! If you lived near me I would leave you bags of tomatoes and pimento cheese!
Oh yum!!!!
As a kid I did not like tomatoes at all. It just shows how one's tastes change as one ages. Tomatoes are not my favorite food, but they do belong in salads. And always homegrown ones are the best. Last year, I was determined to grow some dwarf tomatoes in pots. I planted two. One plant got really beat up in a hail storm, and ended up bearing one tomato. The second plant produced at one point, seven tomatoes, so we had great hope for a crop. One morning, not a single green tomato remained. We suspect a squirrel got them, because they were inside a tomato cage and a deer could not have gotten into it. One more tomato did grow later, so we ended up with two plants and two tomatoes. I didn't even try this year. And Sean, I agree on aspic, which is a terrible invention by someone unknown. Thank goodness, the recipe seems to have gone out of style. I haven't seen it on a potluck table since I was a kid, double thank goodness.
I have two tomato plants on my deck and the squirrels got them before they even turned red. Grrrr
ours were still small and green. I'm not a fan of squirrels, any more than I like other rodents, like rats and mice. ugh to all. I know they are creatures, but they, in my opinion, have no redeeming values. Maybe they're food for coyotes. If so, maybe I need a pet coyote.
We just had to replace our side porch because a squirrel was eating the wood! ( I have video footage of him gnawing on it) We ended up putting a composite wood on it in the hopes that he wouldn’t like the flavor.
It won’t stop a squirrel. I have a crazy squirrel who ate the arms off my expensive designer faux wicker lounge chairs on the patio. She then proceeded to eat the arms of 3 cheap plastic Lowe’s Adirondack chairs. Just because she was mad that we sealed up the hole she chewed in our roof that led to the nest she made over our back porch. Evidently there were babies left inside. We have been rehoming squirrels far out in the country. About to take #9 for a ride.
Not a bad idea, a coyote. But I do like fried squirrel and onions! 🤔
Doesn't appeal to me at all!
Not surprising, if you weren't raised in a family of hunters and experiencing all the recipes and flavors.
Oh, I love deer and elk meat, and dove and quail meat. but have no real desire to try squirrel. :-)
I didn’t like them as a child either. Ketchup and spaghetti sauce, great. Tomatoes, not. It was that gelatinous stuff the seeds are caught up in. To this day, I scrape that stuff out before adding tomatoes to my salad
I like a tomato still warm from the sun!! Yummy!! 😊
This was lovely. I'm glad you don't know where this friend of mine lives: she grows some old Poitevin variety where each tomato is the size of a medium pumpkin, with these ribs and ridges and swirls, and once you cut it open it smells like breakfast in Eden.
Breakfast in Eden?!?! Wow!!!!
You better believe it! But wild horses wouldn’t drag her address out of me, after Sean’s charming confession of his being an inveterate unapologetic Tomato Thief :)
What joy to read your detailed word choices…..🤗 I enjoyed your comments as much as the story!!!!
“ And I don’t want to know about it since I come from Baptists who don’t do illegal things because it could lead to a life of secular music.”
Or worse—dancing!
***********************
On the advice of my wife’s cousin, I got some seeds for Spoon Tomatoes. Tiny little things that grow in great abundance. But they pack a bunch of flavor.
And on my own, I tried growing Lettuce Leaf Basil. Exactly the opposite of the minuscule tomatoes, these basil leaves easily reach 6-8” long and 4-6” wide. You can eat them as roughage, and I have. At first I was worried that the enormous leaves would only have the flavor of a small regular globe basil leaf, and so be diluted. Could not hqve been more wrong. Flavor galore. One leaf is more than enough to make a Caprese salad. Use 2 if you’re a flavor hog like I am.
Seeds come from rareseeds.com and are a princely $3/packet. Great, easy to read, fun book is Ten Tomatoes That Changed The World: A History, by William Alexander.
Now this-THIS Sean🤗THIS is IT. The best thing I’ve read all day. All week! Thanks buddy you truly made my day.
Stellar!!!
They are more perfect than peaches. And I love peaches!
Now….thats a toss up with me….a South Carolina ripened peach is hard to beat!!!!
It is - but a tomato right off a vine is a contender…
Agree!