Providence

The old timers in my childhood used a word I never understood. The word was “Providence.” The old timers couldn’t give me an exact definition of this word. Probably because it had more than two syllables.

To be fair, Providence truly is a difficult word to define. Even now, when researching this column I couldn’t find a concrete definition.

One dictionary called the word “archaic.” Which is true. Today the term is so outdated that, if you’re a younger reader, I’ve probably already lost you.

So I’ll explain Providence by telling you how the word was invoked by the rural people of my youth.

Okay. Let’s say there was no rain, the world was dry, farmers were losing money. It wasn’t “bad luck.” It was Providence. And when the rain finally began to fall; also Providence.

When two people fell in love? Providence. If someone got cancer and died, people prayed for the family to receive solace in Providence.

Job promotion? Providence. Finding $20 in your coat pocket? Big-time Providence.

My people, you see, did not believe in good luck, coincidences, or even flashy miracles. There were no mistakes. There were no accidents. It was all Providence.

To my people, life was a trapeze act. Mankind was always swinging recklessly from trapezes, back and forth. Sometimes man fell, sometimes he didn’t. Either way, there was a divine reason for everything—good and bad. You weren’t supposed to know the reason. That’s Providence.

The thing is, nothing makes sense in life. Not a single thing. I’ve been trying to figure the world out since I was a kid but I’ve never been able to.

I went through a period of sad living, when I believed this universe was against me. I lost faith in everything: in people, in goodness, in miracles. For a while I quit believing in God. I told him this often.

But the big merciful sky was patient with me. Heaven gave me time to grow up. And over time something happened. Something changed inside me. I can’t pinpoint when this took place. I don’t remember how it happened.

I started noticing little sacred occurrences in daily life. They came in the form of coincidences. Big ones. Little ones. Medium-sized ones. These events happened every day. Every few seconds. Every moment, a microscopic miracle. Nano-wonders of the natural world. Small glimmers of something “other.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been spared when I should have died. I can’t tell you how many times something beautiful happened when I didn’t deserve it. I can’t tell you how often destiny has stepped in and changed my future.

Slowly, year by year, I came to believe that I was wrong about this world, and my humble ancestors were right.

Life really is like swinging between trapezes, making sudden, dangerous movements midair. All you can do is pray the next trapeze is there when you need it. But most times it’s not.

So, I don’t know where I was going with all this except to say that even though you can’t understand what’s going on right now; even though you have nothing left to believe in; even though you feel like you’ve missed your next trapeze; even though you’re stuck in a freefall, just remember this:

There is a giant net beneath you, waiting to catch you.

It’s called Providence.