Pone, I was in the check-out line at Costco the other day buying a jumbo sized bag of dogfood when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital the last time I tried it, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
And this is da story of how I met RicCy J! BTW, I'm not retired, just tired!
Good Zinger my friend! I bet you tried to scratch your ears with your feet too. I’m okay with it as long as there wasn’t any licking(if you know what I mean). Retirement gives us the permission to be a little strange! 🤪
“Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,”
That was mean!! Maybe she was trying to pick you up. Probably she was just trying to be pleasant. Maybe she thought, “this man loves his dog. I wonder if there’s anybody to love him? I may be the only person to speak to him today. I’ll speak to him and let him know he is being seen.”
Good morning. THANK YOU THANK YOU. That's one of the best stories I have heard in a while. I'm a firm believer in telling folks what they need to hear. Love it. PS I hope you can go back to Costco. One of my favorite places Happy New Year
Oh G-d. I felt this one. My daughter did 3 deployments as a Naval aviator. Afghanistan and thereabouts. The USSReagan. I didn’t think she should be given the keys to a Honda CRV and there she was in a jet. She would send me a message every time she was headed out. “Walking”. And then I would wait. “Hooked”. She flew for 10 years.
G-d bless these kids. And hold their moms and dads tight. d
Both my boys "worked in the sand box". I never served so I have no idea what they went through. I would get calls every now and then just to let me know they were alright and that was all I needed. I am sure they talked to their mom a lot longer. I had boys go in to the service but it was men that the army sent home from Iraq. Once was enough for them and now they have families and good jobs. I feel lucky in that respect because I have friends that came home from Vietnam. Some that came home wounded and some not but they all seem to bear an internal scar that they cannot shake. They didn't get the parades or the free meals. I was with one of them and he said he was wearing his Vietnam Vet cap his grandson gave him, when some young people came up and said the standard "Thank you for your service" but he said "Why? Your parents didn't". He told me he quit wearing the cap away from the house. He would tell me "It was a different time and different war."
Paul…Vietnam is my era too. Seeing the nightly news of the war always gave me that little punch in the stomach. I was clueless about it all but saw these boys my age so far from home in such an awful situation. Whenever I see someone wearing a hat w/ Vietnam inscription I always thank them ~ they are grateful for the support. I do the same seeing anyone in uniform.
God Bless all our service men & women who serve ~ 🙏
Thanks Sean for another GREAT STORY w/ lots of LAUGHS!!!
There is an overwhelming amount of controversial info re: Vietnam, and it continues to haunt me now. If it had not been for his assasination in November 1963, JFK would have executed his plan to withdraw 1,000 troops by the end of that year, and to get almost all the rest out by the end of 1965.
It sickens me to think that we lost over 58,000 soldiers in the 20 years of fighting a war we could never win.
With that said, SHAME on any American who ever DISRESPECTED one of our own…men and women who did their lawful duty, whether they enlisted or were drafted.
I know firsthand the pain that all the negativity caused so many of our Vietnam Veterans. All we can do now is tell them we’re sorry for their mistreatment, we are extremely grateful for their service to our Country, and they have our utmost respect, however late in coming it is.
When I got out in 1969, I was in my 3rd week in college. 7 vets were called to the office. The lady told us that the GI bill wasn't paying our tuition any longer. Get the hell off my campus.
We left. I went to the Courthouse to file for a veteran break on my property taxes. The Army E-6 asked me where I had served. He said "You don't deserve a break. To avoid being spit on, I do not reveal my past, do not wear green or base ball caps. I was in DC for the prolife rally, and was told by a Park Police man that I could not go to the Wall. Oh well.. Today is a new day.
I, too, am from that Vietnam era. Still gives me a bad taste in my mouth. I also feel patronized by those "thanks for your service" comments. I got out in 1976 after 9 years. The first time I heard a thank you was in 1998 from a pay clerk where I worked. She was of Vietnamese descent, she said "thank you for what you did for Vietnam". Brought tears for my friends who did not make it home. So, Matt, just let me say Welcome Home brother.
Matt and Edward please don't let idiots from the past tarnish the appreciation you receive from people today. When I thank people for their service I'm not patronizing. I am truly grateful.
I am so sorry for the bad experiences but please know there were millions of Americans that appreciated your service. Sorry you didn’t run into those. Thank you from me.
Matt, how horrible for you. I am appreciative of your service in Vietnam as much as I am of my WW1 grandfather's and my WW2 uncle's and father in law's. You are important to me. Happy New Year and THANK YOU.
So very sorry for the things that happened to you. PLEASE, make sure to forgive all of those that wronged you. You have to erase all the ones who hurt you and forgive them. That's the only way to get healed and aso forgiven for our own mistakes.God bless you Have a wonderful new Year
Thank you for your comments and deepest respect for our military. I, too, have much gratitude for our service men and women. May our prayers be constant for them.
"I have long believed that sacrifice is the pinnacle of patriotism."- Bob Riley
Willing sacrifice is also the pinnacle of a mother’s love. We hope to build a better person than ourselves. A soldier, a better country. May it be so. Amen
My husband served during Vietnam. They were required to wear their uniform when traveling. Not a lot of respect for the military in those days. The endless prayer that they would come home alive and not in a box was your companion. The relief when they were in your arms again was priceless.
Pone, I know you have written a column very similar to this if this isn't it. But either way, it is one of your all time greats. You really captured the mother/son dynamic with him trying to be a hardass, but beneath that outer veneer he was still Mama's little boy! Man I almost cried when he left without giving her da word, but when he did, da rivers flowed. I wasn't in the service, but it took me back to Sept 1968 when I was 14 and my father and I left home for the long trip to New Jersey where I went to high school. If I knowed how to write country music I woulda wrote a George Jones Classic Dat day! This un was a "HighStepper!"
Thank you for sharing this amazing story and sending many blessings to this young man and his family and blessings to you and your family my dear friend 🙏
Pone, I was in the check-out line at Costco the other day buying a jumbo sized bag of dogfood when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital the last time I tried it, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
And this is da story of how I met RicCy J! BTW, I'm not retired, just tired!
Yo Peb
That was a good one. You should have picked up some Milk Bones for desert.
Yeah, an oldie, but a goodie. And worth repeating.
Lord have mercy, you crack me up 😂 I’m trying not to wake my husband up laughing like a banshee 🤣
I may have wakened the neighborhood. I know my husband turned his hearing aids off bc I am laughing too loudly. Best medicine to start my day.
Good Zinger my friend! I bet you tried to scratch your ears with your feet too. I’m okay with it as long as there wasn’t any licking(if you know what I mean). Retirement gives us the permission to be a little strange! 🤪
ROTFLOL!!!
“Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,”
Me, too, Bruce.
Dang Bruce, had to go to Translate to interpret that urn!
PEB
Pubert, almost every time I’m checking out at Publix, the cashier will ask me what kind of dog I have when they see the dog food and biscuits.
I figure they’re worried about old folks subsisting on kibble.
I am always tempted to reply, “Dog? I don’t have a dog.”
Maybe next time.
Age does have its privileges.
I have seen this a few times. Each time it is just as funny as the first.
How on earth did this touching column about young people serving our country change to being about dog food.??
Abluedot, just go with it. 😊
That was mean!! Maybe she was trying to pick you up. Probably she was just trying to be pleasant. Maybe she thought, “this man loves his dog. I wonder if there’s anybody to love him? I may be the only person to speak to him today. I’ll speak to him and let him know he is being seen.”
Thanks for the laughs…you are priceless!! 👏🙏💕
Yo PEB ! Ya got me ! That was hildamlarious ! Lets have another cup. Have a wondermous new year and ...
Peace
Good morning. THANK YOU THANK YOU. That's one of the best stories I have heard in a while. I'm a firm believer in telling folks what they need to hear. Love it. PS I hope you can go back to Costco. One of my favorite places Happy New Year
PU, you so crazy! Have a great day my friend!!
After reading Sean's post, I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat. I enjoy all the comments and especially Pubert's. I needed the belly laugh!
Laugh and still laughing. You are a wonderful storyteller!
I just love off the top of our heads a story like this.
If you really said this, at Costco’s bet you had a huge audience.
Happy New Year. Wish you lots more stories to share.
Keep this up and you will be on Substack before long - -
Oh G-d. I felt this one. My daughter did 3 deployments as a Naval aviator. Afghanistan and thereabouts. The USSReagan. I didn’t think she should be given the keys to a Honda CRV and there she was in a jet. She would send me a message every time she was headed out. “Walking”. And then I would wait. “Hooked”. She flew for 10 years.
G-d bless these kids. And hold their moms and dads tight. d
i have told a father, brother, husband and son that in uniform good-bye and it is never easy. thanks .
Thank you for sharing them to keep all of us safe!
Amen
I remember that feeling. Although it was a ARMY post in north Alabama. Three days later my son sent me a text saying he is on his first airplane.
Enroute to Ft Lewis, Tacoma WA.
He was there a few weeks going through deployment training.
Then one day he sent me a picture of a line of soldier boarding a jet. Caption read "Next stop Afghanistan"
My hat is off, and a big Thanks to all that have/are serving or plan to
Thanks and prays for our military! We love you!♥️
Years ago it would have been waiting for letters you'd get weeks later while waiting in anguish.
Amen
Both my boys "worked in the sand box". I never served so I have no idea what they went through. I would get calls every now and then just to let me know they were alright and that was all I needed. I am sure they talked to their mom a lot longer. I had boys go in to the service but it was men that the army sent home from Iraq. Once was enough for them and now they have families and good jobs. I feel lucky in that respect because I have friends that came home from Vietnam. Some that came home wounded and some not but they all seem to bear an internal scar that they cannot shake. They didn't get the parades or the free meals. I was with one of them and he said he was wearing his Vietnam Vet cap his grandson gave him, when some young people came up and said the standard "Thank you for your service" but he said "Why? Your parents didn't". He told me he quit wearing the cap away from the house. He would tell me "It was a different time and different war."
Paul…Vietnam is my era too. Seeing the nightly news of the war always gave me that little punch in the stomach. I was clueless about it all but saw these boys my age so far from home in such an awful situation. Whenever I see someone wearing a hat w/ Vietnam inscription I always thank them ~ they are grateful for the support. I do the same seeing anyone in uniform.
God Bless all our service men & women who serve ~ 🙏
Thanks Sean for another GREAT STORY w/ lots of LAUGHS!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS ~
Sending hugs & love to all 💕🎉
Marilyn
There is an overwhelming amount of controversial info re: Vietnam, and it continues to haunt me now. If it had not been for his assasination in November 1963, JFK would have executed his plan to withdraw 1,000 troops by the end of that year, and to get almost all the rest out by the end of 1965.
It sickens me to think that we lost over 58,000 soldiers in the 20 years of fighting a war we could never win.
With that said, SHAME on any American who ever DISRESPECTED one of our own…men and women who did their lawful duty, whether they enlisted or were drafted.
I know firsthand the pain that all the negativity caused so many of our Vietnam Veterans. All we can do now is tell them we’re sorry for their mistreatment, we are extremely grateful for their service to our Country, and they have our utmost respect, however late in coming it is.
When I got out in 1969, I was in my 3rd week in college. 7 vets were called to the office. The lady told us that the GI bill wasn't paying our tuition any longer. Get the hell off my campus.
We left. I went to the Courthouse to file for a veteran break on my property taxes. The Army E-6 asked me where I had served. He said "You don't deserve a break. To avoid being spit on, I do not reveal my past, do not wear green or base ball caps. I was in DC for the prolife rally, and was told by a Park Police man that I could not go to the Wall. Oh well.. Today is a new day.
I, too, am from that Vietnam era. Still gives me a bad taste in my mouth. I also feel patronized by those "thanks for your service" comments. I got out in 1976 after 9 years. The first time I heard a thank you was in 1998 from a pay clerk where I worked. She was of Vietnamese descent, she said "thank you for what you did for Vietnam". Brought tears for my friends who did not make it home. So, Matt, just let me say Welcome Home brother.
Matt and Edward please don't let idiots from the past tarnish the appreciation you receive from people today. When I thank people for their service I'm not patronizing. I am truly grateful.
Matt and Edward, ditto to what Kim just said! Thank you for your service to our country!
I am so sorry for the bad experiences but please know there were millions of Americans that appreciated your service. Sorry you didn’t run into those. Thank you from me.
I’ve known many heroes from the Vietnam War. Our military were treated so terribly. I thank you for your service, sir. THANK YOU!🇺🇸🪖🇺🇸
Matt, how horrible for you. I am appreciative of your service in Vietnam as much as I am of my WW1 grandfather's and my WW2 uncle's and father in law's. You are important to me. Happy New Year and THANK YOU.
So very sorry for the things that happened to you. PLEASE, make sure to forgive all of those that wronged you. You have to erase all the ones who hurt you and forgive them. That's the only way to get healed and aso forgiven for our own mistakes.God bless you Have a wonderful new Year
So so sad. I did not know of all this. Our Military are Awesome Amazing All for Us. Us and the United States of America.
I'm sickened to think of the ways our vets have been treated. I'm so sorry they were so rude and unkind.
Thank you for your comments and deepest respect for our military. I, too, have much gratitude for our service men and women. May our prayers be constant for them.
"I have long believed that sacrifice is the pinnacle of patriotism."- Bob Riley
Willing sacrifice is also the pinnacle of a mother’s love. We hope to build a better person than ourselves. A soldier, a better country. May it be so. Amen
Happy New Year everyone.
Wise words.
INDEED…..
AMEN
Build better….amen! Happy New Year Dolores!
"I love yous" from a grown son are priceless at any time. But, in this situation it is over the moon.
My husband served during Vietnam. They were required to wear their uniform when traveling. Not a lot of respect for the military in those days. The endless prayer that they would come home alive and not in a box was your companion. The relief when they were in your arms again was priceless.
Pains me to hear lack of respect….deeply! I’m so sorry….thankful you have your husband! God bless!
Thank you Cindy. It was a different time for sure. We were lucky and we are grateful!!
Yeah, it’s a good thing when they remember and they turn around to say it.
May our hearts continue to stir us!
Hard to tell who loves who more, but when “the kid” came back, I knew “I love you, Mom…I just love you” was everything and more.
Pone, I know you have written a column very similar to this if this isn't it. But either way, it is one of your all time greats. You really captured the mother/son dynamic with him trying to be a hardass, but beneath that outer veneer he was still Mama's little boy! Man I almost cried when he left without giving her da word, but when he did, da rivers flowed. I wasn't in the service, but it took me back to Sept 1968 when I was 14 and my father and I left home for the long trip to New Jersey where I went to high school. If I knowed how to write country music I woulda wrote a George Jones Classic Dat day! This un was a "HighStepper!"
Yor Bud,
Pubert Earle
Leigh, you and Linder mus be sleeping on da job!
Pu
Slept in until 4:30!
I don’t like goodbyes.
Thank you for sharing this amazing story and sending many blessings to this young man and his family and blessings to you and your family my dear friend 🙏
I love your writing. But especially this.
Lander, I keep dis up maybe I can be President if Harvard! Yeah I’ve seen it before too but just happened on it! Purty clever guy!
Pubert
Too funny!
A great story to end the year on. ❤️